Food Visuals

Test your knowledge of world flags. Do you know every single one of these?

Klafira

This is very much a re-discovering of an old favorite. Used to love it, then not so much, then loved it again, then not and so on. Here it is - went today and love it again.

Always enjoyed the interior. Thick tapestry curtains and table-cloths mixed with hand-painted walls. The artist was no Michelangelo, but good enough. Aaany-how, it makes me feel comfortable to be there. The staff is always dressed in a traditional Russian folklore type of garments and it is probably an over-kill, but hey...

So it was lunch and I decided to have something that has been known as one of the most efficient hangover cures for decades -seljanka. I did not have an actual hangover. I just wanted to see if they can still do it. That is - to prepare a soup that has its roots deep in a what can we make out of left-overs tradition. Definetely up there with Pasta e fagioli and Paella.

...and it was good. Real good. There are just so many places that offer this dish and way too often it is just horrific. Not at Klafira. A definite thumbs up. I followed with a Salmon Tartare just to stay on a healthy side. I don't even know why. It came with some capers, cherry tomatoes, couple of salad leaves and some olives. Salmon was fresh and so was everything accompanying it.

So I love it again.

Best Russian Cuisine in Tallinn:

a.Tchaikovsky
b.Nevskiy
c.Klafira
d.Pushkin
e.Troika
f. Gorodok
g. Ryumka

Last one is new. Haven't been there yet, but I will fix that in coming days and I'll let you know.

What do you think?
Don't be shy.
Feeling lazy...just vote for a, b or c and so on.
Know a place not on the list? Let me know.

Chicago

Oh boy! I don't even know where to begin. Here it goes. Chicago is located at a spot where there used to be T.G.I. Friday's (Thank God It's Friday's). Don't get me wrong, I got nothing against Friday's. In my opinion their burgers are of decent value. Unfortunately none of the stuff at this location tasted the way it usually tastes at all other Friday's. So T.G.I. Gone.

Now in it's place is Chicago. They worked hard to make it look like just any family friendly restaurant in just any shopping mall in just any midwestern state. First thing that came to mind was Shenanigans from one of the funniest movies about restaurant business ever - "Waiting". Just in case, here's another clip and so you know, the unrated version is out. The waiting staff at Chicago is not as colorful though.

About the food: I tried to play it safe and ordered Quesadillas and a Salmon Burger. Quesadillas were baked in a oven to melt the cheese, not fried and be as it may a healthier choice, it ends up tasteless. Salmon Burger arrived looking quite nice. The burger to fries ratio seemed visually out of balance, so I decided to count the fries. 21 - Jackpot, but since the fries were miniature sized, it really should count as 10 1/2 and I have no smart-ass remark for that number.

Since all this counting had left me famished, I started with my good-looking Salmon Burger. Too bad that in just couple of minutes the whole thing became soggy and then just fell apart. Burgers, even Salmon Burgers are meant to be eaten with hands or they no longer qualify as burgers and that's exactly what happened to this one - disqualified.

So, bad service, just barely adequate food and no funny cast. Draw your own conclusion. I personally can't wait to see what's next for this location. I'm going to leave you with another clip from a comedy classic.

Chakra

Finally. There is a decent Indian restaurant in Tallinn. Chakra opened couple of weeks ago. I've been walking by it and so I went tonight. It is good, real good. You will be reminded of all the reasons why you love Indian food, it's fresh, fragrant and you'll get all the spices. Don't get me wrong I do enjoy a plate of young boiled potatoes with fresh dill, that is so popular at this time of the year, but my heart lies with spices... and parties with spices ... and dances with spices... and so on...

I got a battered and fried chicken appetizer that came with three different dipping sauces. Mild one based on yogurt, dark chutney - possibly black plum, but I could be wrong and a real nice green spicy something, that made my tongue curl up with joy. Followed with a lamb curry that was nice and spicy, but managed not be one-dimensionally hot, instead there was deepness to the whole tasting experience. You know, it starts off by hitting the tip of your tongue, then carries over to the sides and finally just flattens the whole dorsum with a little party of your own.

Now, I also had a naan, possibly my favorite bread. Unfortunately, that was a disappointment. No biggy though, bottomless pit that I am, I managed to stuff myself until I was noxious. Portions are generous. So go now, you never know how the economic downward spiral will effect this one. Building is nice, place pleasant, waiting staff friendly and smiling, if not little rough around the edges, but they have been open for a short time. No web presence yet - so here's the address: Bremeni käik 1

Trattorias and Osterias of Tallinn

So this was Saturday and for reasons I am not willing to disclose here, I was not feeling as a productive member of society.
Decision was made to drink wine all day long. Since it seems that trattorias, osterias and so on and ons are popping up on every other corner, I decided not to commit to a single bottle or a single location for that matter. I'm not sure why this is about to play out like a video game, but here it is.

Level 1. Still feeling quite fragile. Walk through the door of Osteria di Bacco located at Väike-Karja 8. I was told it used to be a shoe store. No great loss. New place that looks little too new. Orange. Had a glass of Barolo for 200EEK's a pop. It was good. It better be. Still feeling little fragile. So no food. I did notice that not only had they good looking pancetta, but were also offering guanciale. You don't see that every day over here. Plus provolone. Life's good. Had another glass.

Level 2. Feeling better. Next stop - Hosteria Roma at Mündi 3, I think. Absolutely love this place. Maybe it was the fact that there was a birthday celebration taking place, maybe it was the waitress who had just started couple a weeks ago and was still little unsure what she was doing, but in a really warm and friendly way, or maybe it was a bottle of Pinot Nero that hit the spot. Maybe because it's orange. After a glass I was feeling truly better so I got food. A plate of meats, cheeses and some pickled artichokes and peppers. Everything tasty. Now another table filled with a different group of people, also celebrating someone's birthday. People singing, dancing and playing guitar. It was all good. Maybe not the kid playing the guitar, but it did not matter. All good. Go now.

Level 3. Still had not had quite enough and headed for Osteria del Dallo Nero at Rataskaevu 4. I have always liked this place. Liked it here. Some people from Tigu were sitting at the table next to me. It seemed like they had started about the same time I did. Good for them. Back to the place. It is orange. It is cozy, but they all are. Somehow the service at the previous place just trumped the other two. No real complaints, the wine was good, espresso good, company good, but I have to admit that Hosteria Roma is my new favorite.

WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH ORANGE?

Funduk

An eatery with a slightly naughty sounding name hidden deep in the soviet era projects is a dream come true. Don't you agree? Well, you should.

First thing you notice walking in is an old man guarding no more than four over-coats at the coat check that is bigger than a lot of dining establishments of the world. Considering the economic state of today, it's nice too see such cosmic level of inefficiency. Paying a salary to a guy for holding onto three coats plus his own. Well done.

The interior of Funduk is new and clean if not little bizarre. It seems that they couldn't decide if they should turn this space into a restaurant, jazz-club or a road-house reminiscent of the tacky Patrick Swayze movie tackily named "Road House". Fit for brawling and all.

To the food: I ordered a Salad, Cheese stuffed Eggplant and DUCK. My companion got also a salad and wisely opted for Sashlik. Salad was fresh and tasty, eggplant was filled with cheese-garlic-walnuts concoction and it was good. Eggplant just a bit bitter. I guess they don't like to go through the hassle of pulling out the juices that carry the bitterness by letting the eggplant sit in salt.

My friend declared the Sashlik a triumph, one of the best if not the best. Good for him. My order on the other hand....... Yes, yes I know. What was I thinking, I had no business ordering the DUCK in a place like this. When I saw it brought out, I knew right away, but by then it was too late. All I could do was mumble to my-self "Funduk Funduk Funduk". I don't blame them, it's all on me.

So don't be afraid, you'll be alright, just think before you order. I'm not sure how you're gonna find the place though, since they have zero web presence. I guess you can ask for directions in the comments section.

P.S. By the way I'm pretty sure that Funduk means hazelnut in Georgian.

MUSI

OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG......................OMG. Sounding like a tween girl who's just discovered a ghost fan-site for naked pictures of Robert Pattinson is TOTALLY unintentional. I just can't help myself - Oh My God. "SEAFOOD NIGHT" at MUSI, two Fridays ago, still not fully recovered. That's how bad it was and I didn't even get sick.

Other than the great company I kept that night, everything else was borderline psychotic Japanese slasher-horror-armageddon-somethingelse movie-like. Well that's not true, that one Oyster did taste alright. One oyster out of 15, plus shrimp, plus scallops, plus sardines, plus mussels, plus clams, plus KULDKOGER( I will get back to this one in a minute). Not exactly a respectable batting average there. So we had everything and a lot of wine and here comes the thumbs-up for MUSI, wine was not priced greedily. See - I can give an objective evaluation to any kind of eating establishment.

Bad service, over-cooked shrimp, oysters that died of natural causes ( some of them confused and searching for elephant graveyards), scallops sliced and diced to make them look like there's a lot and...... over-cooked, bad mussels, bad clams, bad everything. None of it bad in a fresh way.

Bad service meaning this time that we had to ask for cutlery then napkins then wine then a wine cooler then ice for the wine cooler and so on. I do get it that they are trying to be niche in a "we don't even try to be a real restaurant" type of way, but for some reason they think that I still need to be a real customer with real money. I really should have brought "Monopoly" money with me. It's perfect for occasions like this.

Now, I saved the best for last. KULDKOGER, KULDKOGER. Man, there's nothing like terribly undercooked white fish in the culinary world. It is the equivalent of getting plague in the 21st century. There's no need for it, nobody does it and it almost never happens. That's not it and this was the first for me. My friend announced in an apologizing manner that eating this dish the way it is, is just unthinkable and sent it back to the kitchen. By the way, that was the very first time, ever.

The same half-eaten fish was put back in a oven, then back on the same plate and then was brought back to the table.
THE END.

In Studio Vinum New Menu

New menu is always exciting. For many so are the so called SilverSpoons and In Studio Vinum got couple of them this time around. Anyway...I've always liked the place. Not really the place, mainly the food and wine and Imre for making truthful and unpretentious recommendations.

So I went. Had pâté with a salad. It was delicious, salad fresh and the pâté rich. Tasted duck fat and maybe some bacon. Then followed with a classic Coq au vin and this was real good. Maybe I personally prefer the sauce little fruitier. I'm not even sure if that's the right description for the sensation that the taste buds take to the cortex, but hey that's the best I got. The accompanying risotto could've also been little cheesier, but don't get me wrong everything was real good plus the new prices seem to go little better with the times.

Recommended wine was good as usual and I love that you can ask for a recommended pairing without having to ask for the price. They are not out there to take advantage of you, so step in and let Imre and Allar take care of you.

Hai Long

Pleasant surprises are hard to come by in these times. Hai Long is one of them. For reasons unknown to me I kept passing them by for couple of years, with no attempt whatsoever to walk in their door. Just couple of weeks ago I took a chance and I'm glad. I've been back three times since.

Sure, if you're planning a romantic dinner or a celebratory dinner or a dinner function that requires any kind of pleasant atmosphere, this is not the place. The food on a other hand is real nice, well prepared and you can actually taste the freshness. Hai Long is not a Korean reaturant, nor is it Chinese. Not sure where to place them, since they even have some Thai and possibly Indian influenced dishes on the menu.

I have tasted at least 10 different dishes and of course some are better than others, but all of them are good. If I would have to pick on anything then it would have to be the desserts. Even that is not their fault. It's me. Whenever I think of a dessert, my mind skips the whole continent of Asia. Then again I absolutely have to praise the chefs of Hai Long for not being afraid to make dishes little spicy. We all need spice, some of us just don't know it.

I have to bring up MSG. I have couple of friends who are seriously allergic to it. Since I personally don't have a strong reaction to it I can't say that it's not used in their kitchen. I've had some food seriously laced with MSG in a past and remember that it did not sit well with me either, so there's a chance it's pretty safe at Hai Long. Hey, take little bites.

Now I'm going to bring up a different question. They're real proud of the fact that the guys working in the kitchen are of real Korean ethnicity. Why is it that so many people think that as long as you're of right ethnicity, you'll be able to cook better food originating your home country? I have had the best pizza in a world made by Puerto Ricans, best Ratatouille prepared by Ecuadorians and the most mouth-watering croissants by Albanians. Same time I have a feeling that there's gotta be at least a billion Chinese who are not all excellent chefs. I think it's time to get over this silliness and for everybodys sake just hope for a good, talented and hard-working chef, no matter his or hers background.

Korsaar

Restaurant Korsaar is without a question the silliest and most ridiculous restaurant in the city of Tallinn, and oh yeah also the most out of place. They spent a s...t load of money trying to make the place to fit in for the next "Pirates of the Caribbean" quadro-sequel for any of the worlds Disney theme parks. I just can't figure it out why did they place it here. Enough of that.

Let's start with the entrance - actually the lack of it, to get there you need to enter the Bavarian style Beer House. Now if you pass the ship-wreck sticking out of the wall, you've gone too far. Also if you've reached the coat-check, you've gone too far. See, somewhere between the entrance to the beer hall and the coat-check is, and here I go again, a ship-wreck sticking out of the wall and you'll notice two pirates hanging out underneath it. One of them an effing midget, yes yes a midget. If you're lucky or unlucky depending on your preferences you'll get a real piraty GRRR from the bigger one. That signifies the point of no return. Get ready for the ride and hold onto your wallet.

It's hard to describe what you'll see after you walk down the stairs, but I'll give it a try. Pools, fish-tanks, possibly a fountain and loads of marine periphenilia. The walls are all made to look like an inside of a cave, unfortunately a cave made out of packing material. All of the staff is dressed as pirates, even the line chefs in the kitchen. I did not see the head chef. Good guess would be that he's wearing the captains outfit. Ahhh, almost forgot about the giant plasma screen on wall that's showing a stormy ocean scenery. Well, that is most definitely not all of it, but I give up and move onto to the most important part - the food.

The food is not good. I ordered "Octopus carpaccio with creole tomato salsa" for a starter and I have to admit that it was possibly the most interesting and wonderful presentation of any kind of food I've ever seen. It's just that it did not taste like anything. I'm not even talking about octopus, no - it did not taste like anything. Maybe they had some of that packing material they used to make the cave walls with left over and decided to use the extras to sculpt some octopi. Plus there was nothing creole about the salsa, I'm not even sure that there was much salsa about the salsa. I'm telling you, it was the most beautiful looking worst dish anywhere ever.

This pretty fiasco was followed by a "Korsaar bouillabaise" and that is so much more than just a bouillabaisse (notice how I did not misspell the word and also do not charge 215EEK's for a simple bowl of soup). Then again this is what you get for your money. An effing midget rolls in a cart all the way to the table for the line chef to prepare the soup right in front of you in a pirates costume. I know I'm being politically incorrect calling him an effing midget, but c'mon I didn't hire an effing midget to work as a miniature pirate and that is truly politically incorrect. Now after the midget rolls in the soup cart, he walks up to a stormy sea on the plasma and starts turning the ships wheel all while tilting himself in sync with the waves on the screen. Sure, I was laughing before. In fact I started laughing up-stairs before entering, but at this point I was laughing out loud hysterically resembling a horse gone mad.

Anyway you get the picture. Loved the waitress, loved laughing out loud, even loved a little bit the effing midget. Hated the food, hated even more the prices and I'm willing to bet my right leg that I'm never going back. Now if I lose the bet, I could possibly get a job there with my brand new wooden leg and everything.


NB! Pretty sure that this is the most expensive place in town.

Sushicat

Heard some buzz on Facebook, was bored and decided to try it out. Before I went, I quickly checked out the web site and I have to give to them, Sushicat has one of the coolest looking restaurant sites in town. Couldn't really figure out why the menu opens as a pdf, but other than that it seems like they know what they're trying to accomplish.

I'm afraid that's where the good stops. Bad sushi, bad service, bad drink selection, bad everything. I did like the enthusiasm of the owner, unfortunately it did not carry over to the waiting staff. I do get the whole manga is cool and so on and I couldn't care less that the place is done cheaply. I get it, cheap place with sushi for hard times, but still...even in bad times you don't want to admit that you have to eat bad.

So here, I went for this:


But ended up with this:

Lydia

Restaurant Lydia is a sad, sad, sad, sad place. I was there with a friend for business lunch and the place was all dressed up in sea-foam colored table linens, curtains and chair-covers. The question remained who and what for? Two of us were the very only customers and the two awkwardly friendly and polite waiters gave me an impression of captains willing to go down with their ships.

I ordered off the business lunch menu with the addition of a salad and when the food came, it was not bad. The salad was fresh, the risotto was alright and the soup came in a freshly baked bread bowl. Considering once again that we were the only customers, that's just sad.

I don't know what else to say. It's not bad, but I will never return and I can't even imagine who goes there or who's ever been there for that matter. Like I said...

SAD

Kloostri Ait

The concept of comfort food is some what foreign to Estonians, well at least the concept of serving comfort food in a restaurant is foreign.

Wikipedia gives the following definition - Comfort food is typically inexpensive, uncomplicated, and easy to prepare. Many people turn to comfort food for familiarity, emotional security, or as a special reward. The reasons a dish becomes a comfort food are diverse but often include pleasant associations of childhood. Small children often seem to latch on to a specific food or drink (in a way similar to a security blanket) and will repeatedly request it in high stress situations. Adults eat comfort food for a sense of continuity.

Who doesn't need the sense of continuity? Who doesn't require occasional emotional security? Well, Kloostri Ait is the Estonian answer to "gourmet-diners" and "gastro-pubs". Food here is the closest thing to an Estonian version of comfort food. This is food everybody wishes their ma's and grandma's could prepare.

My personal favorites are what they call gratins:"Trout and potato gratin with egg and cheese" for one, plus a "Mozzarella and potato gratin with tomatoes". I would call them cheesy casseroles. But hey, who gives a damn, as long as they taste good.

Now if only they would slash their prices a tiny bit to make us extra comfortable...

Best Food I Ate in 2008.

Bastilla au Poullet - restaurant Agadir - Tangier - Morroco

Tony's Seafood salad - at my Mom's and Tony's house - Chef Tony

Frites - Maison Antoine - Bruxelles - Belgium

Sautéed bacon with mushrooms and home-fries - Cafe Pushkin - Tallinn

Fried Okra - Sonny's Real Pit BBQ - Stuart - Florida

Polenta with spicy sauce - Carmine's - NYC

Filet Mignon au poivre - my house - made by me

Resolutions, resolutions.

I will cook more.

I will eat out less.

I will enjoy wines with good taste, humble pedigree and friendly cost.

I will stop going to overpriced and pretentious restaurants altogether.

I will cook more.

I will have friends over more often.

I will keep making demi-glaze and roux from scratch.

I will eat less.